hair-raising experience

I went to get my hair cut and bedazzled by my long-time stylist today. Everything was wonderful until I got up to pay. There was a woman that walked in halfway through my haircut. She was a complete mess, like a some sort of circus performer on crack. She ran up to me with curlers in her hair as I was trying to pay my bill. She started asking me all sorts of questions, standing about 3 inches from my face. "What did you have done?" Ohhhhh your hair looks NIIIICE!" But you know honey, blonde is out, the men like brunettes now, oh yeah they do!" This is coming from a woman with gray hairs bristling out of her chin and breath like she licked a baboons ass. She follows this piece of advice with an offer, "If you ever need any sex advice, you call me. I'm a sex therapist! No I'm not. Juuuust kidding." I never ran so fast in my life. gah. I think that may have been a proposition. I'm not sure. But if i think about it much longer I may have nightmares.